I have been asked if I would go on a couple of shows. I, however, do not have any family member who will go on.

Would anyone consider going on a television show to relate that ADULT SIBLING ABUSE SURVIVORS EXIST?

Many of us did not have our rights and freedoms in our childhood.

If so please write to nancykilgore2012@gmail.com

Your help is very important to getting this cause off the ground.

Sincerely,

Nancy Kilgore

Girl in the Water details the most shuttering examples of sibling abuse, the untold secret in millions of homes. Each year, 19 million children are abused by their siblings and well over 80 million adults have suffered this type of abuse. With vivid imagery and heartbreaking accounts, Kilgore leads readers on a journey into the prison she was born into, where she is confronted with her childhood dreams, family bonds, coming of age in the shadow of terror, and the complex after-effects of bullying and sibling abuse that followed her into adulthood. Struggling to piece together her haunted past before it consumed her, Kilgore shares her inspiring metamorphosis and victorious battle from a fragile, shattered survivor to that of an eventual speaker and activist. Girl in the Water is the story of one woman, with a phoenix-like power, who came up against all odds and won. Her story will resonate with millions of adult sibling-abuse survivors who have never felt free to tell their stories . . . until now.

Link: http://www.hcibooks.com/p-4221-girl-in-the-water.aspx

I want to share this link before it is taken down. You might ask why it is being taken down. At one point, I thought no one would publish my book. I self published it and put this u-tube video up.

Love to you all. Nancy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lh2ZuJPS40U

In this picture, I have sustained almost two years of abuse by my sister. My mother had no idea what was happening to me.

Healing from sibling abuse is a life long process. I know this to be true. I went to many therapists, doctors, hypnotherapists, tarot card readers, etc. I wanted so desperately to heal. A couple of days ago, I turned 63. Parts of me are abhorred that I am this old. Parts of me to want to understand that I lost the best years of my life in a fog with misdiagnosed PTSD. I have been depressed for the last couple of days. I have PTSD and will have for the rest of my life. I can’t be naive about it. And nor should you. I am not only depressed for losing so much of my life, I recently had to do an edit after my book publishers told me what to cut, add, and move. I had to look again at what was done to me as a child. The anger from not having this type of abuse acknowledged is similar to a high level rage. I keep what happened to me manageable. I can’t ever feel that I have defeated the after effects of sibling abuse. I was not only abuse, I was incested.

The greatest tool for healing was a therapy called EMDR. I was one of the lucky ones that didn’t have to pay for my treatment. I had 100 treatments. I am different that the person that I once was. There are parts of me that grieve the old dysfunctional person that walked this earth. The symptoms of PTSD can be found by googling. Here are some: anxiety, depression, wanting to isolate, agitation, wanting control, difficulty with digestion, headaches, etc.

One of the beneficial treatments for PTSD is EMDR. Look it up on Google. It is an expensive treatment, but well worth every minute. There are EMDR  therapists in every town. Look them up in your phone book or an internet phone network. If you can’t afford by an HMO, call and relate that you know you have PTSD. Complex PTSD is from childhood. Be empowered and ask if she or he might know someone who does Pro Bono work. Don’t give up. Keep calling. Keep a notepad handy so you can get the help that you need. This process is not an easy one. I can tell you with confidence that talk therapy, self help books, group therapy, and hynotherapy will not shift PTSD that came from an abusive sibling.

It’s time to go back to school. Become empowered and knowledgeable. Many survivors of sibling abuse have no confidence, on anti-depressants, self medicate, have addictions, have poor parenting skills, and have considered suicide.

I appreciate you. I appreciate everyone who takes time to share.

Nancy

The holidays are coming and they often impact me. A little depression floats over my life at that time. I feel it now and we just had Halloween. I know that Thanksgiving is coming and I won’t be with my family. I won’t be with my son. I will be feeding the homeless the day before. I am trying to make a family of choice. It is just not the same. I make a great effort at this time of year.

If I were to consider what sibling abuse has done to my life, I would have a nuclear hot rage that would make me blow up.

As I am aging, my ears are more receptive to aggressions and hurts of older/senior siblings.  An older, homeless sibling can stay in the dwelling of another sibling. Animosities can be fueled by hurts from long ago. There might be resentments about wills and the distribution of property.

What is noteworthy is that older siblings have access to guns. Older siblings have a greater potential to actually kill each other. This dynamic is heightened with alcohol and drugs. As a species we can be very aggressive. This is becoming more and more apparent with older/senior siblings. They have the potential to actually kill each other. In this economy, with foreclosures,etc., we will be seeing an upsurge of murders perpetrated by older/senior siblings.

It is so very important for parents to understand the symptoms of sibling abuse. In adulthood, the abuse can transform in to deadly outcomes.

What was put in my brain as a child was significant in charting my course. I had inner statements of: I must be bad, I am not worth too much, I can’t trust anyone, I am not worthy of love. These statements rested in my brain for way too long. They were inserted for 18 years. For 18 years I lived and slept in a bedroom with her.

So many children all over the world go to bed at night in a room where there sibling infers that they are nothing.

Let’s make a better world.

A part of me can’t wait for survivors of sibling abuse to read my book and feel validated.

19 million children in America are affected by sibling abuse. This is 4x that of battered women. Lives can be spared if we join together.

Sincerely,

Nancy

Hello from a survivor

It is an alarming issue throughout the world.

cyberbullying, child abuse, bullying

For Repeat Readers,Thank you, scroll down past line; “pass this on to your people.” We need your viewpoints and comments.

Nearly 1 in 5 students in an average classroom is experiencing bullying

Bullying starts in many American homes.

Each year, siblings abuse 19 million children…in their own home.

My name is Nancy Fox-Kilgore,M.S http://www.siblingbullies.com

Sample Read.

For Newcomers, Welcome! Read the Mission Statement:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIBZa90clhk

Mission Statement:

To present hopeful educational information that heightens awareness about, bullies, bullying, and child abuse.  It helps uncover that bullies, whether they are cyber bullies or aggressive bullies that utilize face-to-face contact, are often created in home settings. Cyberbullying is often first practiced on siblings. Siblings are now being publicly humiliated, rejected, or hated.

Because of our present economy that provides conditions where children are not supervised or parented, the basic goal is to impart prevention information that keeps us safe from the aggressions of children/adolescents and those who are yet unborn.

It is a beacon of light to all adult survivors, over 80 million, who are recovering from sibling abuse in their childhoods. Many adults recovering from sibling abuse can have: distrust, difficulty in relationships/domestic violence involvement, addictions, eating disorders, PTSD, anxiety, depression, anxiety, self-injury, thoughts of suicide, and poor parenting patterns.

**** Please leave your comments. Share resources, stats, books, poems, your heart, etc.
___________________________________________________________

Stat/Thought For Today: Throughout history, society ignored violent acts between siblings and often excused them as normal behavior. Violent acts among siblings is 8OO per 1000.

Bully-Proof Thought o not overload an older child with adult tasks of babysitting, etc. Aggression often comes back to the younger child.

Thought For Adult Survivors:

“Lay down the boogie and play that funky music til ya die…..”

Ask yourself how intense and chaotic has sibling abuse in childhood, done to your adulthood? Many sibling adult survivors, because of the abuse from a trusted sibling(s), have destructive lives of chaos. We move alot, have problematic-negative relationships, use drugs or alcohol, are depressed, and sometimes have suicidal ideation. The reason for this is that our beginning brain became a trauma brain. The first circuits that were being formed in our brain knew trauma. The imprint is often a deep one. The cognitions that go with us into our teen, adult, and often senior years is that we do not deserve to enjoy life and are not worthy of happiness.

Much love to you today.

Statement From An Anonymous Survivor: My brother told me that I would be O.K. if I jumped off the roof. I wasn’t. My arm was broken. In the emergency room, I had a cast put on. The authorities or child protective services was not called. The abuse was from a family member and it was alright to receive it. I learned that I was worthless and suffer from low self esteem and addictions in my adult life.

Commentary: It is the adult sibling abuse survivors who will impact and change the lives of little children who are now “getting it” from a sibling(s). The appeal has been put out there to adult survivors to “come out from wherever you are” and help this great cause. You are needed. Your voices and your comments are needed for a new movement. This movement needs to launch and I needs your help. There are well over 80 million adult survivors in America alone who are in stages of recovery from being violated and abused by their sibling(s). This abuse can come from a cousin or a step-sibling.  My prayer is for you at whatever hour this comes to you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckH3V_xOCnQ&feature=related

Your input is needed here. We are a community. Leave your ideas, share your story, comments…

It is an alarming issue throughout the world.

cyberbullying, child abuse, bullying

For Repeat Readers,Thank you, scroll down past line; “pass this on to your people.” We need your viewpoints and comments.

Nearly 1 in 5 students in an average classroom is experiencing bullying

Bullying starts in many American homes.

Each year, siblings abuse 19 million children…in their own home.

My name is Nancy Fox-Kilgore,M.S http://www.siblingbullies.com

Sample Read.

For Newcomers, Welcome! Read the Mission Statement:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIBZa90clhk

Mission Statement:

To present hopeful educational information that heightens awareness about, bullies, bullying, and child abuse.  It helps uncover that bullies, whether they are cyber bullies or aggressive bullies that utilize face-to-face contact, are often created in home settings. Cyberbullying is often first practiced on siblings. Siblings are now being publicly humiliated, rejected, or hated.

Because of our present economy that provides conditions where children are not supervised or parented, the basic goal is to impart prevention information that keeps us safe from the aggressions of children/adolescents and those who are yet unborn.

It is a beacon of light to all adult survivors, over 80 million, who are recovering from sibling abuse in their childhoods. Many adults recovering from sibling abuse can have: distrust, difficulty in relationships/domestic violence involvement, addictions, eating disorders, PTSD, anxiety, depression, anxiety, self-injury, thoughts of suicide, and poor parenting patterns.

**** Please leave your comments. Share resources, stats, books, poems, your heart, etc.
___________________________________________________________

Stat/Thought For Today: Many adult survivors of sibling abuse have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Everyday, adult sibling abuse survivors are misdiagnosed. They are drugged and have electric shock treatments everyday in America.

Bully-Proof Thought:To alleviate bullying within a family, have a mission statement of conduct and place it in a noticeable place in the house. Refer to it often and reinforce the contents in weekly meetings.

Thought For Adult Survivors: Ask yourself how much you pay to stay in contact with a family that does not acknowledge the injustice done to you as a child. Are you subjected to laughing about what happened? Are you look upon as a liar?

Statement From A Survivor: He hammered the fingers on my right hand. When I had to go to the emergency room, he gave me a signal with his index finger and his throat. The gesture meant that my throat would be cut.

Commentary:  When adult sibling abuse survivors are born, they know nothing of malice or evil. When it comes to them through a sibling bully, their entire life can be affected. The inner strength to keep going is seldom recognized as a feat of courage. The fight to go through life is not recognized because sibling abuse survivors do not recognize  that the abuse in childhood could be hurtful.  The lost productivity  to America can not be calculated.

Survivors are often clueless as to why they have problematic work relationships, dysfunctional/maladaptive children, financial difficulties, or are considered misfits or undesirables by their families. Because their lives are often in financial crisis, they are often in need of monies or owe money from family members. Very few family members embrace the sibling abuse survivor because they are a threat to the solidarity and resources of the family unit. Sibling abuse survivors are not often able to handle the rejection and move away, go into homelessness, are on welfare records, and have problematic relationships with their children(s).

It is rare that a sibling abuse survivor is embraced in a loving family meeting. They are often laughed at, distanced, disowned, not asked to attend special family events, and are sometimes not briefed as to a family member’s death, inheritance, or whereabouts of the dead body. They can have very lonely lives and can be very depressed. Their mental thoughts can be consumed with self-loathing and perfectionism. Their child(ren), in their adulthood, can disown or humiliate them.

Many sibling abuse survivor’s lives were transformed through their entrance into the world as a baby.

Your input is needed here. We are a community. Leave your ideas, share your story, comments…