Our Mission
To present hopeful educational information that heightens awareness about bullies, as well as sibling abuse, and promotes emotional and mental wellness of children. To help uncover that bullies are often created in home settings.
To impart valuable information about bullying and sibling abuse, that leads to family and societal change. To support children to have safe peer and sibling relationships for positive adulthoods.
Sibling abuse is rapidly increasing. We now have an epidemic.
It appears that sibling abuse is the most overlooked form of family violence.
- An estimated 19 million children per year engage in abusive violence against a sibling(s).
- 40 million adults are in various stages of recovery from sibling abuse.
- Two million children have used a weapon as a means of resolving a physical confrontation with a sibling.
- Recent statistics on homicides reveal that siblings committed 1.5% of all murders. This comprises 10% of all murders in families.
- 53 out of every 100 children abuse their brother or sister.
- Bullying in America is epidemic. Bullying starts in many homes.
- Bullying is research linked to sibling abuse
Watch the Trailer: Girl in the Water: A True Story of Sibling Abuse, by Nancy Kilgore
Purchase this ground breaking true story on Amazon. You can read more about this courageous book here.
debbwi@aol.com
Thanks for coming to this website! Have a blessed day, Nancy
I am 56 years old and suffered much sibling abuse from my sister (she was 2 years older and larger built, I was pettite
looked like 12 @ 18 yrs.) It’s amazing how I looked up to her! Thank heavens
light is now being shed on the BULLIES!
Give them no cover…I have seen many
sisters truly love each other and have
a bond. What could have been was
separated by evil!! I never new what
love felt like. My sister said to me
once when I was around 35 I made a
statement about something at a family
gathering and she said that’s really
smart and I always thought you were
such a moron!
Today I still suffer from low self esteem
my life would have been different with a loving sister.
Yes, a sibling can affect how we feel about ourselves. Thanks for sharing. Nancy
So get it! Strived for years to belong! Dismissed, verbally abused and physically. They just laugh it off. Say I need to get over it. Thing is none of them even know the while story of what the others did. So sad. I give up they all have their gossipy bond and dysfunction they deal with. I grieve the loss, but need better. DESERVE BETTER. As do you!!
Thank you for coming into this blog. And, yes, we deserve so much more. The grief from losing a family is long and enduring. We are social creatures and do the best in groups. Nancy
Every year I say I should write a book and every year another chapter is added to the web that has been spun for generations. My range only dates back to the late 1800′s in sparse detail to more recent events that are simultaneously vivid and obscure depending on my abilities to arrange thought to the forefront of consciousness. Positive happenings always in tandem with guilt or resentment. Bad happenings with additional baggage anxiety and fear. One hour ago I just erased an entire post because I ran out of room so I am trying once more (too late).
I didn’t know I was bullied until yesterday. I didt know it had a name. Being the youngest of five I now know that being bullied served as a silent agent against my physical and mental health. I am scared and afraid that it is too late to stop the bleeding- I have already created another generation and I hope someday the cycle will end.
There are many forms of bullying and psychological should not be discarded as anything less that a blunt knife to the heart. My most recent example is from yesterday. At my bridal shower my sister openly called my fiancée’s13 year old daughter a slut and openly criticizes and joked about my fiancé in front of me, my brother and his wife. This isn’t new behavior, only last month she tried for a third time for me to go on a date with her husbands nephew. Regardless of the back story- I remain silent and parallized. I have no voice left in me- she tearse me down and doubles down when I am most vulnerable. I just totaled my car (8k) while being yelled at by my bully father. I don’t remember that exact moment because his verbal abuse parallized my senses. I yelled at him saying “see, this is why I don’t answer your calls” yet apologized to him 20 minutes after the police came. My bully sister meanwhile kept calling me wondering why I wasn’t there to pick her up. Yet I am still suppose to be quiet and allow my fiancée to pay for her flight and hotel to our wedding after a sudden financial crunch and her endless venom upon me any my family? She disregards my feelings-ignores my attempts to be sober, and I can’t hold one boundary up to save my happiness. Anywho that’s my input-out of space- keep pushing awareness
Dump her evil ass. Kick her to the curb as hard as you can along with anyonewho treats you that way. You are a child of the universe you havea right to live in peace
I have kicked her to the curb in my mind. She, however, is the mafia don in my family. Because of her I have lost over 45 relatives. The loss is immense.
I tried giving both a chance and they managed to make my wedding all about them. Now that I’m married it is actually easier to separate my self but still very difficult. Anxiety is just a phone call away. Thank you for your comment
You are so right. The anxiety and influence of family is very powerful. Nancy
I am currently being bullied by my Sister. I am 37 years old and she is 2 & half years younger. She is disrespectful and nasty. She wants to hurt me anyway she can. She recently suffered with post natal depression so I accepted this and took most of the abuse on the chin. However she is through that time in her life but she still continues to abuse me. We share the same friends and she constantly talks about them all to me thus making me feel angry towards them. I feel she does the same about me to them. She excludes me and belittles me in front of them. She goes as far as winding up and upsetting my 5 year old daughter. The list goes on and on. I feel like I am crumbling inside and don’t know what to do. My husband wont listen he gets cross. Luckily my parents know where I am coming from as they have too experienced her abuse. I need to keep away from her but its hard when we share the same friends.
I am glad that you have your parents and their support. You situation sounds very painful.
You are in a hard place. The decision to connect with negative siblings is truly a personal decision. Nancy
Thank you. My bullying is still on going and i am jealous of all normal loving brother bonds. I have given him too many second chances and when I finally retslliated the police came involved but ghat didnt stop my asshole of a brother. And so since that ungrateful prick has protection from my depressed parents as a result of him. It is still ongoing. I hate him… and doubt ill ver forgive him even if
he apoligizes… and i dont intend to.
There is no word that quantifies the violation of what you have gone through. Sibling Abuse affects so much of our life….so much.
Sibling abuse goes long into our adulthoods. It is often more painful and alienating to the human being. Research about this is lacking. Nancy
I am a 37 year old female. My 40 year old sister verbally, physically, mentally, and even an isolated incident of sexual abuse….harassed, bullied, hated, and tortured me on a daily basis from the age I could first have memories. This went on undetected or ignored by my mother or anyone even up to this current day. I have been through hell in my adult life and since FINALLY about two or three years ago I was researching to find explanations or answers to my problems….I found actual documented and tangible medical and psychological terms for what I have been suffering through for my entire life….ADULT SIBLING ABUSE. Of course at one time it was just sibling abuse, but you see my story didn’t stop at 18 years old when I was able to leave home…my sister began to deliberately and consciously sabotage me and my life. When she could no longer suffocate, beat, and torture me with her hatred and bullying…..she started to cause problems between my husband and I, attempted to keep me away from my other family members with her control and manipulation and intimidation. She had me arrested and removed and banned from our grandmother’s home that we both grew up in. I was not allowed to visit my beloved grandma. When I lost my husband to a car accident three years ago…she came and illegally took my one and only beloved 12 year old daughter from me with false and exaggerated claims of me being unstable, unable to care for my daughter, and because of her financial abundance and my total bankruptcy with the loss of my husband…there was no winning. She even takes my daughters social security check that I would have gotten from my 14 year marriage and father of my child….when he died in the car accident….she attempted to turn my daughter on me. We were not allowed to see each other for three years. It was the worst three years of my life. No family, my only confidant and best friend was dead and the only thing left that meant the whole world to me gone…and my god, the emails I would receive from her. So utterly hurtful. And to this day, yes, I’ve finally have gotten to be reunited with my daughter but only under her control. I live with them…my sis and daughter and she still manages to belittle, control, intimidate, and I live with intense pain and grief in silence. I don’t dare cross her and risk being,thrown out and worse not seeing my daughter again….what now? Its been identified, I’m educated, but I have nothing (as she likes it). My hands are tied. I can’t move. No money. I don’t know if I’d be able to stand being separated from my daughter again? Lost in a small town in Kansas…..please help?
I read this. Try if you can to get EMDR treatment. EMDR therapists often need hours and work on clients for free. Nancy
My older brother bullied me daily. His favorite act was to “sic” the neighbor’s dog on me . I was very tiny and much younger, and the dog would bite me and cause me to bleed. My brother became a doctor who has lost his last three jobs after 38 years of practice. I am a retired special needs teacher. I recently confronted my brother and mother about the daily abuse I received from my brother who claims his behavior was not abusive. He was and is my mother’s favorite . I was quiet , well behaved , and a good student. I was diagnosed with anxiety at the age of 16.
The anxiety we often have is PTSD because it came from someone in our own home. Appreciate you. Nancy
Thank you for shedding some light on this soul crushing sibling bulling! I recently recognized the truth of my feelings about my half sister who has abused all my life — I’m 57! My family normalized it, I was TOO sensitive! No more , I haven’t spoken to my sister for a couple of months and I don’t plan on speaking to her in the future. I feel great and life has been much better!
It is not normal and thank you for your statements. nancy
wow! every time I read more comments on this site I feel stronger! I am very sorry we all missed out on bonding with a loving sibling but we are not alone! I’m not alone anymore and that makes me feel stronger! I recently stopped the abuse, since December and it is difficult. My brother and other half sister are totally involved in my crazy sisters unhappy behavior. This has alienated me from all three of them. I’ve been very ill for ten years due to the consequences of the physical abuse I survived as a child, largely handed out by my crazy sister! I had ten surgeries and am now disabled at 57 years old. Yes it’s hard dealing with being ill and disabled—-and having to deal with this issue now!
But it’s worth it! I get no support from any of them on a good day , so I definitely don’t need the snarky comments, sarcasm and downright nastiness when I’m not having a good day!
It’s been quiet! I’m learning to be kinder to myself and use my caring energy for taking better care of myself.
I have a wonderful husband who’s been with me for 39 years—I’m blessed. I also have two wonderful, bright daughters who get along and love each other so I’ vey blessed! Now I get to move on and direct all my loving energy on people who love me! What a concept!
Have a loving day! Stay strong! Normal is different but nice!